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The moment we had our third daughter, I was very conscious of the fact that we now have a middle child in the family. At the onset, I really wanted to pay very particular attention to our second one, because I did not want her to ever feel that she is being left out. Over the past few weeks, however, I have been noticing that the situation I have tried to avoid is happening.
Contestants for Little Miss Philippines on a noontime variety show were often asked the question: “Ano gusto mong maging paglaki mo? (What do you want to be when you grow up?)” The question brims with hope for the future. Today, however, kids have access to much more information; and so, the same question brings with it more than just hope. In a way, it also makes kids worried.
The movie trailer for Top Gun: Maverick has just been released. It is a surprising, yet very much welcome sequel to the 1986 classic Top Gun, starring Tom Cruise as Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. Although the sequel will not be released until 2020, I got so excited about the sequel that I rewatched the 1986 film over the long weekend.
My preteen daughter was singing the other day, when my wife called her attention. My wife pointed out that the lyrics of the song seemingly don’t align with our family values and principles. The song was about pretending to be good to get what she wants, to get what she thinks she deserves. Our immediate reaction as parents was to tell her not to sing such a song.
Today, we consume a great amount of social media, and we do not expect it to lessen anytime soon, maybe never. As we survey through the different social media platforms, we can see what others have been doing, where they are now, and what kind of life they have been living. With so much information, it is becoming more and more difficult for us to avoid comparing what we are seeing with what we have been doing. Not only do we compare ourselves with our friends and colleagues, we are also exposed to a new breed of individuals whom we feel are having such a great gig: the travel vloggers, the e-sports professionals, and the social media influencers. Heck, we even dream of our kids having their own YouTube channels with millions of subscribers. All these information we are seeing every day are affecting how we are scrutinizing our own lives.
I was hanging out at an ice skating rink over the weekend, when I noticed this little girl, not older than six, walking back to whom I presumed to be her dad. There was no smile on her face. Her heavy feet, still with her ice skates on, were clunking as they alternately hit the floor. I remembered seeing this girl a while ago. Every time she was on the rink, she would be at the edge, holding on to the railings unless she was holding on to someone else. In one instance, I saw her crying, with fear in her round, misty eyes.
I have been hearing a lot about time for the past several days—time that continues to pass us by regardless if we are ready or not. From the pastor’s sermon last Sunday to my drive-home conversations with my wife, these moments have contributed to my thoughts on time—thoughts that include what we sacrifice in our pursuit to “increase” our time.
Having three kids, my wife and I often grapple with questions on our fairness to them. Do our kids equally receive the love each of them deserves? Do we give them with the same amount of affection, time, and engagement? Do we play favorites? The quest for fairness is manifested in different ways, and is highlighted in different facets of our lives. We look for fairness in our families, in our schools, in our work, and in our society.
